Some stories make us look closely at our lives. They make it better and more enjoyable. We have brought you some such inspiring examples that seem to be completely ordinary and unremarkable. No one here won a million or bought a private jet – but reading the stories may encourage you to move mountains a little. See for yourself.
“This is what I want.”
Jesse, quiet and shy, was about forty-five years old. She lived in Atlanta and managed the business of her husband, a famous architect and local star. The husband steadily went to meetings and parties, and his wife at that time was engaged in tedious paperwork. Jesse had no idea what to do with her life. So she joined the Success Team. It was a self-help group of six people who regularly met to help each other fulfil a cherished dream. Jesse’s team did their best in helping her, but nothing was found.
– Maybe you should look for a job that you like best? They asked.
“I don’t know,” Jesse replied. “For some reason, I don’t want to.
Months passed. One day, Jesse entered the room where her group was gathered and announced:
“I want to participate in the Bear Gris winter sled dog race. (Bear Gris is a town in Minnesota.)
Team members were stunned.
– Are you sure?
“Yes,” said Jesse, “I want just that.”
– I do not know.
– Do you have any idea about sledding sports?
Everyone was pleased that Jesse had at least some desire left. So they immediately rushed to look for a school for her, a dog driver – whatever. Finally, someone talked about the summer training camp for dog drivers. And on a warm summer day, Jesse was there. She went to the trainer and said:
– I want to learn how to drive a team.
The coach looked at the petite forty-five-year-old woman in a straight skirt and comfortable shoes. He decided to cool her ardour. He harnessed the dogs to a training sled on wheels and gave her reins.
– Here is a try. See if you like it.
And suddenly, he gave the dogs a command – they rushed forward. Jesse barely kept up with them. She stumbled, slipped, and almost fell face down. Still, she held out with the dogs the entire training circle. After finishing and catching her breath, she smiled at the coach and said:
He laughed and agreed to teach her.
When winter came, and it was time to go to Bear Gris, Jesse realized that she didn’t know anyone there. She asked the coach if it was possible to introduce himself, to refer to him. He replied:
– Jesse, I can’t go for this. You are still a beginner, and I need to maintain a reputation.
And then the Success Team drove her to the airport and carried her out with loud, encouraging screams (and secret fear). Arriving at Bear Gris, Jesse saw a small – almost from the same street – a town covered with snow. Experienced drivers with their dogs were everywhere. Struggling with embarrassment, she approached everyone and asked if anyone needed a handler. Finally, she was taken to her team, whose assistant collapsed with the flu.
And Jesse drove a hundred and sixty kilometres in a dog sled. And after the race, they called the Success Team, and they were wildly delighted. Jesse returned home completely satisfied.
Smiling broadly, she told her comrades all the interesting details.
“This is happiness,” said a team member.
“Yes, it is,” Jesse agreed.
“Now what?” – asked the comrades. – Will you train further?
– No, I’m done. I don’t want to do this anymore.
Everyone was shocked and fell silent. And then someone asked a question:
– Well, what do you want to do now?
– Leave the job.
Conclusion: desire can be trusted. It never occurred to anyone in the group that Jesse was not ready to leave a demanding job. Neither that she was prepared to enter the big world until she could cope with a severe challenge. But something inside her knew about it.
Think about what you want, and when there is any desire, do as Jesse. Don’t be bothered by how practical it is – take action. In craving, there is practicality beyond rational explanation. Passion will show you the right direction better than any rules or good advice.
“Is that all true?”
Sometimes it seems to us that we want one thing, but in fact – we are trying to drown out a completely different feeling. Lee, the photographer’s agent, suffered from burnout at work. She came to Barbara Cher with the desire to radically change her profession. Lee loved gardens and music, and also enjoyed coming up with comedy scenes. But even when they took her addictions and incorporated them into a beautiful life plan, Lee still looked unhappy.
“It’s not easy for you with comedies in this mood,” said Barbara.
“I know,” she replied.
– You like all this, right? Gardens, music, composing humoresque?
– Yes, I love it.
– Yes exactly.
Then Barbara decided to trust her intuition.
– Is this all true?
– What do you have in mind?
– Forgive me for being clumsy, but what about your personal life?
Lee burst into tears.
The bottom line was that Lee didn’t need any career. She tried to want to pursue a career. But in fact, she required Steve, a kind and shy mathematician, whom she met for two years. He recently moved to another city.
– Why did you hide it, and did not take it out on the top line of your list?
“Because it’s impossible,” she said. “He doesn’t need me. And then, I feel like a rag, since a man is more important to me than a career.
Barbara suggested that Lee moves with Steve to another city. Lee resisted: after all, Steve himself said he did not want to continue the relationship. Barbara explained that if Lee moved closer, they could see each other. Then they would have time to understand if Steve was sure of his decision. She never valued work in New York in any case, so nothing held her back. She could sublet her apartment and live on savings for several months. During this time, deal with the priority – Steve. Lee agreed. She said that she would like to move to his city. She asked if he would help to find housing. If he refused, she would have shown respect for his wishes, but Steve agreed very quickly.
She took a cat and a typewriter and moved three hundred miles to the apartment he found – not far from his house. A few days later, she joined a literary group and started working on her humoresques.
Steve did not leave her a single step. It turned out that all this time, he was bored. Still, he also justified his decision to part with a variety of reasons that prevented them from being together. Soon his fear passed, and he proposed to Lee. They have been married for ten years, and not one of them has ever regretted it. Lee has written two novels over the past few years and is now working on a third.
Conclusion: place accents correctly. Finding the right deal was a distraction for Lee. Lee wanted to knock herself off the trail as she was ashamed for wanting a man more than her career.
Trying to subjugate the senses to the mind is like throwing a card that shows the path to a happy life. This is a beautiful way to get lost.
Sometimes it seems to us that the thirst for love is a tribute to an old idea that was instilled in our mothers. This significantly hurt women who were eager to engage in meaningful work. And participate in a game where they would succeed. But it is important not to get confused: the right to meaningful work does not negate someone’s need to love. Not a single man will ever think for a minute that it is wrong to desire both love and self-realization.
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